Tuesday, November 30, 2004

open hse preparation


open hse preparation
Originally uploaded by fellie.
it was tiring for me, i got fever the day before the party. but i had fun that day. a lot of friend came.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Blood is thicker than water..

i wish there are answers to all my questions..

i believe that family is the most important foundation in our life. they are the strongest bond you have in your life. without them we couldn't possibly be here. Without a strong foundation of family, we only live in a shadow and loneliness will be part of the existence. Love starts from the family. We practice everything we learned from God's teaching starting in the family. It is the way we love our family that reflects our being in this world. Maybe you won't understand the things that i ma trying to say here, but this is how i see it after all the hardships ive gone through for 22 years now. Love of a family is pure and whatever happens you should not turn your back on your family. They are the strings of your guitar, without them how could you play/make a beautiful song? That's why people believe that blood is thicker than water, and somehow it is true.

i love my family so dearly, no matter how much people hate them or no matter how cruel they can be at times. even though now that im having lotsa family problems but i believe that these are only the pieces to fill the gaps in my life. without problems, there would be no other way to understand them deeper. They know our true colors and still accept all your weaknesses. believe me when i say, family are your truest love. they loved you for who you are.

Monday, November 15, 2004

I just finished reading a book, which was given by Lionel for my birthday..it was about the "5 people you meet in heaven". So far, i managed to read only half of the whole lot. The book is quite thin but it was quite slow. The story is way too slow but it makes me think, have you ever imagined life after death? I guess no one would actually believe in that. Since there's no scientific proof that dead people will be revived in another world. Speaking of dead people, i've seen this movie "Final destination 2" which sent a message that every time when a new life is born into this world, there will be death in return to balance the world. We believe that in one day alone, thousands of people died with various sickness or accidents or unexplainable tragics, and of course there will be new lives entering the world and experience all the cruelness life has to offer. Im not being pessimistic here. But its true we cannot get away from all problems we had to face. But God is here. Yes, I believe the existence of God in our lives. But here, im not talking about spiritual stuff, im talking about the world and the humankind.

of course im very depressed now, but let's not talk about the 'rubbish' in my head. everybody has their down moments but i prefer not to show mine because im not here to get sympathy...

Coming back to our topic. Is it true that there is life after death? how can you prove it? Eventhough there is no proof of its truth but there are still some people who believe in life after death. Simply because there are no compelling reasons not to believe according to one of the site I've read few days ago. I know this is so weird.

I love to write more about this but i have to go now, Chris is picking me up for Warcraft with the guys.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Open house preparation

i've been busy the whole day yesterday, cleaning and arranging the house for the open house party this coming thursday and it's going to be a blast, hopefully....

ive got my list who to invite. At first, i planned to invite only of few of closest friends but in the end my sister made me invite the whole gang of IPB including those listed in my list.

my sister just got back from KL yesterday morning and she bought me this beautiful punjabi suit for the party and i cant wait to wear them!!!!

she complained that it was hard to find my size since free size is actually an L size?!!! *sigh* i remembered when her husband went to India about few years ago... he came back with countless dresses and punjabi suits and they are way too big for a small asian body like us. The dresses were gorgeous but it was too big, so in the end, they sold it.

Yesterday i went shopping with my sister. You should see how she does her shopping. Though she only spends on something which is necesary but Yesterday, she had two single receipts of RM1500++ (RM5000++ for a day) That's still a lot of money..

Thursday, November 04, 2004

The memories of KML

I miss KML so much and it hurts somehow. I've learned a lot when i was in KML. I learned to trust people, be more open, and mostly i learned the meaning of friendship and sahring love. Ive heard this saying once, "family are one of God's gift but friends are the family you chose, so friends are meant to be special to us". There's a poem i read somewhere about why God gave us friends. God knew that everyone of us needs companionship in our lives. God knew that friends are the one whose thoughts are always near to us and whom we practice His love. To love a friend might be easy,but to trust them it takes almost a lifetime. However, trust is build when the love grows inside. That's the beauty of friendship i learned so far. We do not envy them nor hate them, instead we give them unconditional love and we treasure them as much as we treasure ourselves. It takes more than caring To be a real friend; That is the nature of friendship, where it requires a blend of warmest compassion.

Friend is not always about money. They are about happiness, joy and honesty. Friendship always reminds of Belle, my very dear friend which is now in Penang. Only God knows how much i love her. I've seen her struggled to her bone to keep going and from her i learned about the value of love. She has never given up her hope even though somehow things are beyond her control. She is calm and well-reserved. No wonder i heard people complaining that she is playing too hard when it comes to making friends. But i know that once she trust you, she will never forget you. It has been almost three years since we last knew each other. But the bond between us is still there, nothing less. She is not only beautiful in the physical part but also what's inside of her. I feel blessed to have a wonderful friend like her.

Neena...... she's like a big sister to me! She is so protective and she takes me like her own sister. Ive been busy all the time but she still gave her time to find out how i have been doing. you see, these are the people you want in your life. Someone who cares for you no matter how far apart they are to us. But the distance has never stopped us from keeping in touch. With Neena and Belle to take care of me, Im not even worried.

Irene, she is the colour of my life back in KML. She has been there when i need a shoulder to cry on. She has been the one whom escorted me everywhere i wanted to go. I miss her smiles and i miss her laughter. When i hear her voice thru the phone, the tears are always there welling up in my eyes, There is no word in the dict to explain how much i missed her.

Mavis, she is the one who taught me to have strong faith in God, she showed me how wonderful life is by teaching me how to pray while taking my hands to let me feel how strong God lives in her. IShe is very forgiving and her kindness makes me love her even more. She's the one who helped me in my studies and she has been there to encourage me to believe in God.

But everything happened so fast. It seems unfair that we're now very far from each other after all those memories we had. Its very unfair that i have to start all over again. i guess God has been fair to me after all. He wants me to open my eyes and realize that there are still more people around me who needs my concern and care.

To love a person is the happiness you get in return. You may say that it takes a lot to care for others that we should put ourselves into our own priorities before others. But when u think of it again, it does not work that way. We live in this world in a community, and whether we like it or not, we do have to share everything in this world. If you take something from other people, make sure you give them enough before taking.

I treasure friends very much because they are also the family i have in this world.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

lab...lab..lab...
that's all in my head right now... trying my best to stay awake while waiting for my turn to run my sample on electrophoresis.. head hurts a bit now for resting my head too long on the table. so i switched my attention to the net. At least i wont be so stress out waiting. well speaking of stress, i have a book which talks about losening stress but i guess the book is still with Clarice. Well, i dun really need it anyway so if clay is reading this, its ok. I think u need it more than i do :) but for those who really wish to loosen up their borns heheh, here's few tips i can give you...

Slow-Down Techniques

10-SECOND BREATHING
In an acute situation, when your mind or body is racing out of control, slow down your breathing to a 10-second cycle, 6 breaths a minute. Find a clock or watch with a second hand and inhale for 5 seconds (odd number on clock face) then exhale for 5 seconds (even number). Keep it up for 2-5 minutes, or until your pace slows down.

60-SECOND BREAK
Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Visualize yourself lounging on a sunny beach or watching the sunset or relaxing in the shower or sauna.

5-MINUTE VACATION
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Then visualize a favorite place or activity. Let your imagination carry you away to a special spot that's refreshing and relaxing.

CHEST MASSAGE
Relax your chest muscles and open up your breathing with a vigorous massage along the midline and across the chest below your collarbone.

BOTHER LIST
Write down a list of all the worries, pressures and concerns that are crowding your mind and clamoring for attention. Then burn the list or tuck it in your wallet for later attention.

PEACEFUL FOCUS
Focus on something pleasant and beautiful in your immediate environment (a blade of grass, a painting, a color). Concentrate on the beauty you see and breathe it in. Allow that beauty to slow you down.

Gear-Up Techniques

STRETCH AND MOVE
Stand up and stretch. Arch your back and stretch your arms and fingers out to the side. Hold that posture for awhile and then let go. Now move your body all around to get the blood pumping. Clap your hands. Jump up and down. MOVE!

EXHILARATION BREAK
Imagine yourself somewhere exciting, exhilarating or awe-inspiring (e.g., standing on a cliff above the ocean, performing for a large audience, cheering at an exciting football game, crossing the finish line at a race, laughing uproariously with friends, peering over the rim of the Grand Canyon, giving birth or watching birth). Let the vividness of that vision charge your batteries.

PEP TALK
Give yourself a pep talk. Use your best persuasive powers to motivate, encourage, cajole, support, cheer, challenge yourself. Ask somebody else to join in!

STIRRING MUSIC
Turn on some lively music like a march or a mazurka. Start moving. Dance. Bounce. March. Sing along. Get involved. Let the music pump you up and pull you along.

BODY BRACER
Gently pat or tap all over your body in an energizing rhythm. Keep it up until you tingle all over and are charged up.

EXERCISE
Vigorous exercise of any kind is a sure-fire way to get geared up. Add a creative twist for some extra punch.

Loosen-Up Techniques

PRETZEL
Imagine that your body is all tied up in knots and only you know hot to untie them. Beginning with your toes and gradually moving up the body, tense and relax each set of muscles. Visualize that you are tightening the knots as you tense the muscles and picture yourself undoing the knots as you relax the muscles and let go.

BREATHE INTO TENSION
Close your eyes and take a deep breath. As you become aware of any points of tension, "breathe into" that spot, allowing the breath to bring calm to the area and carry away tension as you exhale.

SELF-MASSAGE
Reach across your body and massage the muscles of your neck and shoulder with long, firm strokes. Knead any especially tight areas with firm, circular or back and forth motions. Then repeat the process on the other side. With both hands massage the base of your skull with firm, circular strokes. Continue over the scalp and face, stopping to give special attention wherever you notice tension. Don't forget the jaw!

SHAKE A LEG
Stand up and shake an arm, a leg, the other arm, the other leg, your whole body. Then take a deep breath and let yourself go limp all over.

believe me if you follow these instructions, you will feel your head a bit lighter and your eyes a bit brighter...so try it out!

flickr

I have posted few pictures to be published in flickr... so just click on this website

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fellie

Monday, November 01, 2004

Let's have a fresh start on this..

well, at last i have a blog of my own. Been imagining myself writing scripts, novels etc. Lol my dreams to become a writer is more like just a daydream, sigh.
It's still fresh in my mind when i was in form three. As normal teens, we usually drool over boy bands or handsome celebrities. So i think im normal since i was into a teenage band called The Moffats, the famous band at that time. It still fresh in my head how i worshiped them.. lol i knw its funny!!

well, i know it was embarassing to reveal all these but that was the past and it was a lot of fun. i used to write a story about my life and my friend's, only with the addition of the Moffat characters in the story which I made them really exist in our life. So mostly the stories were about how we met and fell in love with the moffats and how they flatter us with their songs and their singings. I know this is not something you wanna here (it's a bimbo talk). But then, just look at it this way, having to create your own dreams and imagining it to be real in your life. How cool is that? well, maybe u found it crazy or stupid but just fyi. It was better than Barney show..haha! Coming back to the Moffats story, my friends enjoyed the story i wrote for them since it was about their story and their love life (with their fav moffats) and yes we have the same gene to get crazy over this band.

A year after, i moved to another school and met new friends but that didnt stop me to continue writing. i was staying at my sister's place at that time (stayed there for a year plus). She was expecting a second child and needed me to help her around the house. SPM was very near then, and i still keep on writing...everything was about the misery i had as far as i can rememver. i didn't keep a diary because they can't be trusted hundred percent. Their immobilities make them easy to be found, so it was dangerous for me to keep a diary. So that explains why im here finally. What I wrote are mostly poems. That's how i express myself, through poem and they are full with emotions.

this is only the beginning... just be patient, i will feed u more stories the next time i post something here again.

Mind my writings, im still very bad in it.

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