a handbook..

I think this is good to share with everyone.. I post it here because i thought it's always good to remind myself of the important things in life while sharing it with others..

A handbook for each and every year indeed !

Health

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy..
5. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2008.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

Personality

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy
in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18.. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past.
That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum
that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learnwill last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society

25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life

32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Productive & Useful

Saturday is good. Saturday is great. Bcos I really get to sleeeeeeeeep at home. It has been a hectic week for me.

I have been struggling my time with a contract job from a leasing company and my writings for the proceedings for the upcoming conference. It wasn’t easy fitting everything at a time perfectly but I have no choice. I need to have money coming in every month, and at the same time I need to get my thesis work done. I know I can always get money from my family, even my boyfriend doesn’t mind helping me with the car monthly installment. But I have been independent since day one so I think it would be exactly ‘my way of dealing things’ to handle everything on my own without relying on others. Besides, people my age has started earning and I think it would be pretty much embarrassing for me to rely on my family.

My ‘working’ life is basically from 9am-12am. I will go to the office in the morning and come back home for my favourite TV drama at 6pm then I’ll start my thesis work from 7.30pm till its time for bed. It has been very tiring but I like it. Like T, I want to be productive and useful no matter what I do. I know I should have not gone for the contract job since my thesis work is the priority but there are times my thesis work make me feel so hopeless. It wasn’t just about the money for me. This contract job is the only thing that makes me feel useful and worthy. Everyday, I go home with a new hope and a fresh mind to start my work though physically I am already worn out.

Hopefully, things will go well for me and I am looking forward to see what I could do everyday to make life a meaningful one for me. I am not gonna let any single minute to go wasteful with complains and empty talks. This contract job I am doing is also a starting point for me which will be an extra valuable input on my resume.

I remembered my cousin sister told me, every job is the same, the only difference is whether you enjoy doing it or not. Since I enjoy doing what I am doing, I think I am going to continue being useful until I meet the end point of my master life. Being a Libran is always about balance. For me, it’s about doing something that makes me feel useful, while fulfilling my responsibilities which always make me feel emotionally haggard. Whatever it is, at the end of the day, I know I have done a great job making my life significant in my own useful way.

Fatherly love

It was tough making them understand. But I am glad, in the end they agreed though they said I should have called SPA. Part of me was consumed by guilt for not being responsible but the other part of me is jumping for joy for not having to go through it again. I just need to take a breather. At least for now.

I will try again when I am ready, or maybe when their bad news isn’t so bad for me already, or when (maybe) I am earning somewhere and SPA is just like a passing wave that rocks my boat on the sea.

I had a good weekend except for a time when we left his house for a short outing to Starbucks on Sunday and we had to wave at a sad-looking dad at the front door. The face looks so creepy like I have stolen his son.

“Don’t think too much about it. It’ll pass.” His comforting voice never failed to calm me. His parents loved him as though he’s the only son. He has done great things for his family and he has been a responsible man. Yet that is never an excuse for his father not to remind his son about the importance of disciplines and decorum in every conversations they had.

T suffered a lot after two accidents last year (and one of it was a major case). Thank gawd, he didn’t suffer physically but financially. Though it was never a drunk-driving case, his father always claimed that it was T’s lack of responsibilities on things. First accident happened when he decided to finish his work in the office till midnight. I can’t tell you how workaholic this guy is. The second happened at the borderline of Sabah-Sarawak when his car skidded in the rain and went turtle after hitting a lamp post. That happened two days after my dad’s funeral. He was coming to visit my family to say his condolences in person.

Despite all the problems he is having, yet today, he bought his father a Perodua Viva. I was not surprised that a down-to-earth and a knowledgeable man who is a retired MAS captain pilot chose to drive a Viva. He said it is conducive enough for him and his wife. It reminds me of my dad who gave away his old Land Rover to buy a van for his extra income (apart from his 8am-5pm job), just so he gets to feed his 14 kids. Because of my dad, his perseverance as a father, his kindness as a man, I am what I am now and I believe he is now in Heaven tapping his foot on the ground and listening to his favourite song as his 100th day of earthly departure is fading away in the midnight of 21st February. Dad is not coming home anymore to play with mom. Mom won’t be able to hear him during her daily rosary anymore and Mom will soon find all her things which were hidden by him.

We both acknowledged this love.

This mutual conception of fatherly love has brought us together,
and I hope we’ll make a better future when our time has come.

outdated tagging business..

This was done two weeks ago but I decided to post it here, in case you need something to read about. But im not here to tag people, its just something i'd like to share. Anyway you can find the same post in my facebook.

So here goes peeps…and be patient (I can be very bubbly so its a long way down)

Tagging title: 25 random things (about myself)

Tagged by: Emm and Lydia

1. Im now on my writing stage of my master project and I cant wait to get it done. If im gonna further my studies to phd, I want to do it overseas because the local education system is a bit frustrating sometimes.

2. I am not a two-timing person. I can only love one person at a time. Usually when I fall really in love with someone I will go all the way for that person. Its not easy to accept any person, so if I have chosen one, he’ll definitely be the guy (whom I carefully trusted with all my life, because you cant really trust a guy no matter how sweet they are on the surface).

3. Im scared of marriage so I don’t know whether I should be married but if im going to get married it has to be someone I want to be with and another thing is before I get married, I have to have at least 5 digit in my account (for safety reason), and I want to have a simple garden wedding if possible.

4. Before I die, I want to take piano classes and also drum classes because I like music very much. And maybe go for a vocal class if my time is not up yet. Haha!

5. I like playing guitar and I usually write my own songs during my free time (or when im inspired by some feelings) but I know my songs are very immature (Well its just for fun), and if I should, I want to upgrade my guitar skills.

6. I like books, I like reading and some day If I get to write a book, I would like to write a story about my life.

7. I bought my own car, with my own money and I do take care of my car like a baby. Sometimes I feed my car first before myself. Eg, I make sure I pay my monthly installments before thinking of spending my money for other things.

8. I do love my family, so much but there are times I feel like I’m the blacksheep in the family (hopefully in a good way).

9. I love my beautiful nieces and my handsome nephews. They are like my bestfriends in my family, because they listen to me, haha!

10. This part is supposed to be a secret but im going to tell you about it anyway. Well, I don’t get my sleep that fast, I guess my brain is very active at night and refuse to quit working. so usually I occupy my head with bedtime stories that I made up myself. For example, if im having a good mood, then mostly my bedtime stories are happy and romantic. Eg, a vampire falls in love with a human. (haha!) BUT, if im having my mood swings, then usually I dream about killing a monster or I murder my own character in my story. Creepy huh?

11. I like buying gadgets like electronic stuff etc, I like furnitures and I like buying bed sheets, because I like having peaceful sleeps at night (Remember, I usually struggle every night to get my sleep). No surprise most people who tried sleeping on my bed complimented the comfort of my bed, but in the end, they blamed me for falling asleep on my bed and losing track of their time! (so there’s pros and cons to the comfort of my bed)

12. I have everything a girl needs in my room. I have an IKEA chest drawer which i bought for a half price (got it through internet), and also the simplest version of a wardrobe from IKEA which was white when I first bought it and now the color turned a bit creamy, cos its old.

13. I am very careful with who I mix with, I don’t get influenced by my friends that easily because im a hard-headed person and I have my own style of dealing things.

14. Though I don’t get influenced that fast but I am a ‘yes’ person, its very hard to say no sometimes even when I want to.

15. I hate going out a lot cos im a home person, most of the time. So if you managed to drag me out from my sanctuary, then you must be lucky. Except when Im bored, I like to go out when Im tired of locking myself in the room.

16. Im a suffer in silence type. I don’t like telling people about my problems sometimes. Even when I do, I usually filter everything. I like my privacy and being alone is always my remedy when im sad.

17. I miss my father.

18. I always complained about wanting to be independent though I know my family is always happy to lend their helping hand. However, I whined sometimes because I don’t get much attention from my family like my younger sibs do. My eldest brother believed that ‘ I know what Im doing and whatever problems I have, I know how to get out from it’, so that’s why I didn’t get that much of attention from them, which has its own pros and cons.

19. Friends are also my family, whom I chose.

20. I believed in Jesus Christ and I am a God-fearing person though I sinned a lot.

21. I get physically tired easily and I hate getting tired because I think there’s so much to do when you’re full of energy.

22. I am a girl who has a lot of dreams but pessimism holds me back. Sometimes I wish im a guy so I don’t have to worry about safety that much. Urgh, people always say im an easy target. Its not fun being seen that way.

22. I want to go backpacking with my guy friends, because with guy friends (the one that can be trusted), I feel safer travelling.

23. I have more guy friends than girl friends and in my life I only have two friends whom I take as my BFF (three actually, but we lost her last year after a terrible accident). The two that I always keep in my heart is neena and belle, and we lived far apart. (Vero, you're still in my heart too..)

24. I can’t believe im getting older. Urgh, can I be a “Benjamin Button” who gets younger each day?

25. I believed that, “before you love others, you should love yourself, if you don’t then you’re only ruining yourself and others at the same time”.

The end.

Signing out...

My Bizarro

I wished I had a better control of my own temper. I do have a pretty bad mood swings. As much as I really want to control my bizarro at times, it needs needs to get out, especially after fostering it inside for a longer time. But I do believe in patience and sometimes mistakes taught me to be better.

Of course I am talking from experience.

I had a fight with T for a very stupid argument, and we ended up not in speaking terms for the whole week of my good holiday. I guess girls can be very melodramatic sometimes especially when they don’t get their ways. I have to agree with that. Regardless, I have a terrible pride and I always reasoned myself that I need this pride to survive. It’s the only thing that helps you to move on when disappointments get in your ways, or when things didn’t turn out as you want it to be.

I have a very good collection of disappointments in my memory, and for most part, pride saved my dignity. That’s how I keep my heads up while keeping my fingers crossed for a better tomorrow. But of course there should be a good management of surfacing your pride. You cant be holding your pride everywhere or you’ll lose something precious in return.

I just want my bizarro to be a little less hideous, or I’ll lose the person I love. I should be lucky T is always the composed type, but I wouldn’t take that for granted. So I am trying my best to be a better person, not only for him but for myself cos being happy is really fun and I don’t want to wait until I grow wrinkles on my face to regret. Eww!

Signing out... angry less...

Values...

This is the one thing I shouldn’t keep my midnight oil burning, I tend to think a lot and tend to be…..emotional…about stuff...

Values?…. What does it say to you?

A lot of things we do these days are without a clear conscience. We forgot to remind ourselves, what is there to life? Is it just giving pleasure to yourself without thinking of what harm it might bring to your very existence?

We tend to make others feel miserable because of what is hurting us. We tend to ignore other person’s happiness because we, ourselves, failed to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We want them to suffer like us, is that really a friendship, a family? Love perhaps?

Sometimes I don’t understand why we need to suffer for others or why we need others to suffer for us? I don’t understand why we should hide our happiness just because the other person is not happy and why do we failed to accept other’s happiness just because they caused our misery.

I’ve been there, hurting and bleeding. Others ripped off my robes, put million thorns on my head, dragged me to what seems like an eternity journey with blood and mutilated wound. Crying till there’s no more tears to shed. Screaming till my throat is dried. Then, I realized, one thing that was very powerful at that time, now, and, then. A powerful healing to wounds and bloods.

Its FORGIVENESS.

Though I am somebody who doesn’t have the height, the beauty, the intelligence, the confidence, and the wit to influence others…. But I somehow know how to live a life, and that is – Love and being loved by everyone around you. I know the inferiority that greatly haunt my life, I see my disabilities. But I know where to stand and how. I know the limit I am taking, I am aware of my mistake, the biggest offense even God couldn’t stop crying for my blood.

My blood.

I have lost a father. A loving father. Who nurtured me with love, honesty and respect. What else I can do to honour his teaching for me? Should I take this excuse to be a monster? To be someone I never wanted to be? To take away everyone’s happiness because I am not happy?

Love, honesty and respect – that shall be with me till my last breath.

I’ll clean my white robe and face my sentence.

If you have lost somebody you have loved so much, honor their departure by honoring yourself with good values. Don’t waste your life. Be someone useful and happy.

I am dreaming of a day….when…

The oldest one in my family would pat me on my shoulder and says, “You have lived your life like you supposed to. Dad must be proud of you.”