Last Friday, we had one of the biggest function for the company. It looked to me that this is going to be a turning point, if all goes well of course. A millionaire will turn billionaire. If you know my life, you know what I mean. So now, tell me the reason why I shouldn't be worried of what's coming.
Still wondering which company i joined/work for?
READ THIS..
*Click on the photo for best view
and to to our dearest friend who just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl..
Now I understand why i don't feel like posting anything here..
These few weeks, i feel nothing but resentment, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, sadness, weariness, anger and the list goes on. I don't think that is what i want to share with the outside world. That should be personal. It's not like you are trying to hide your true color, but I believe some things are better left unsaid. Rather than letting people make the wrong judgment about you and you start arguing with them to let them see your true self. I think that is a total bull.
I started this blog because I want to share my perspective of things so maybe people might use something through my experience. And for today, I found out something new.
Before I start, I would like to announce that I have submitted my abstract and in a month's time, I am hoping to submit my thesis. That will depend on my prof's speed reading. But I am not here to talk about thesis.
I am currently working for my brother in law in Damansara. The pay is good enough for a degree holder. I actually had no choice but to take it since I don't have a valid reason to turn his offer down. Like usual, I need money to pay my monthly bills. I got nothing to lose since I am allowed to go to UKM any day I want, and I can even do my thesis work in the office. Somehow I think my bro in law needs me here to be his eyes and ears. I meet different type of people here and everyday i learn a new thing from everyone here despite being the only girl in the office.
SO today, I had a breakfast chat with this one guy. Basically all my colleagues here are also a family friend, they all know my family like almost everything. Some of them only know us after working in the company. But all in all, everyone knows everyone.
Coming back to the breakfast story, it was nice having a chat with this guy. But the ending was not how I wanted to be. You know when you talk to someone, if the outcome must is a satisfactory to both parties, then you call that a successful conversation because a two-way communication was achieved. But this conversation we had was closed to failure. I almost don't understand what he was trying to make me see his points, and i don't think he understands my points either. So it was like a very silly conversation between us both.
Then, we went back to the office. I forced the guy who helped me designed my blog header to talk to me while I have my nasi lemak in the office. He gave me what I wanted. A successful conversation which satisfied the two-way communication rules.
Will talk more about it later. Need to got to the airport.
There were tons of time I tried posting something here but it just didn’t happen. It feels like digging my organs out from my system. So I decided to wait ..
Of course a lot of things happened lately, I just see no point of telling it to the world.
I am almost done publishing my own stories.
Maybe there is one part of me which I want to keep discreet.
Maybe I put myself so transparent that people can just see me behind the sheets.
It’s like that Hollywood life, everyone knows what you have been up to, and you feel like you have lost the most important part in your life – your privacy. But the unhollywood part about this is, it wasn’t the outside world who violated your privacy, it’s the person himself (or herself).
One thing I don’t like about posting anything here is that, I think I have been complaining – A Lot. Well, that’s the point of having this blog isn’t it? It’s to tell the world what goes in my heart and divulging the essence of my living.
So basically right now, even you yourself can tell that I am writing this post straight from the core of my heart. I might regret this once I hit the ‘post it’ button. Try me.
I am tired of everything.
I am tired of finding out what happen to everyone,
I am tired of telling people what I have been up to.
I am tired of the same thing that goes in my life which never seems to fade.
I am tired of not being able to undo things.
I am tired of not being able to be loud.
I am tired of being bullied.
I am tired of being told.
I am tired of lying to myself.
I am tired of smirking at people’s rubbish.
I am tired of listening to my own complaints.
I am tired of listening to others complain about their imperfect life when obviously their life is better than those kids in Africa. At least you don’t have to see a fly licking on your wounds.
I am just tired. I should blame my monthly visitor. Remind me not to write every first week of the month.
But then again, when you see yourself in the mirror, you feel like spitting on the glassy image-reflecting surface. Sometimes I feel ashamed of complaining when I have food coming to me every single day. Yes we have to earn some money to live, I know that and yes maybe we are not doing something that we like, but what’s the fudging wrong with that? You don’t have to lick on your boss’s a** to do your job right?
So, I think complaining is just a waste of time. Sharing about how you feel? Maybe acceptable, but complaining? You’re not even those people who have to pick up rubbish to have dinner or to have a “Vulture” beside you waiting for you to die so they can have their dead cake for dinner.
Oh, give me a break. I should tell myself to stop complaining.
At least the good news is, my air-cond is fixed. I can sleep peacefully tonight :)
I spent the whole day today watching the exclusive footage of Michael Jackson’s memorial service from CNN, E! and also BBC news. Many offered tribute to the late King of Pop with thousands of fans attended the event in Staples center, LA. My favorite part was when Brooke Shield shared her memories of Michael Jackson..
......and the unforgettable heartbreaking part was to see Paris, Michael’s daughter struggled to say her final words to the public.
I was thinking.
Was I really blessed? Or, was I just plain lucky?
I got a job from a biology company in April. I took the offer and quit my teaching job. Then, my supervisor discouraged me to go for it. I was worried. I just quit my job from a tuition center and I was warned not to work full time. It was in April, and I only have about 2 months to earn as much as I can before i meet my biggest financial responsibilities in July.
My weariness was finally ended after a friend offered me to work for her boss since they need an intern to help out. They paid me well, more than I deserve…. So was I blessed or was I just plain lucky?
So, in those two months, with a lot of hard work, I managed to earn nearly rm5k (including some from my GRA scheme approved by my supervisor). It was not easy. I had to cut down on a lot of expenses and activities. I was tired most of the time. I remember how I dragged myself each time I feel like giving up. The fatigue due to excessive use of energy really burned me out to the max. I had to fight my depression otherwise I won’t be able to go on. All the hard work has finally paid off. I am really proud of myself for pushing myself beyond the limit I could take to fulfill my financial responsibilities.
That was why I felt so upset when I had to go to my former rented house to clean the mess that was left, just because everyone thinks it wasn’t their mess. I feel like crying pushing myself to do it because I was just so tired and I only have weekends to rest. Thanks to Emily (for the first cleaning session) and Pearl (for the second cleaning session) who were willing to go down to Bangi to help me out. People told me to chill and relax. It’s not about my temper problem but it was the injustice done to me. I guess each of us led a different life, so it’s no point trying to let others to try on your size of shoes. So I let it go.
Back to my previous story about all these financial responsibilities. In this recent 2 weeks, I have used half of that hard earned money to pay off my semester fees, my car insurance, the monthly installment of my car loan, road tax renewal and my personal insurance. Of course it was not easy for me to go to the ATM machine twice to press a 4 digit amount from my bank account just to pay all the bills and fees. It was a tremendous heartache for me.
But God is great. I survived these 2 months, and I have finally called my boss and told her that it’s time for me to focus on my thesis, so I have to stop this internship. If I get to submit before a certain date, I will get a half refund of my semester fees. It’s still money for me though. As for now I am comfortable with the balance I have in my bank.
