untitled issues

I notice my post is getting shorter with time, im not sure if I’m losing the passion to write or am I getting older? I’m not saying old people don’t write, in fact they usually make a good writing. I am just not sure where this is going anymore. I’m not sure if I should stop writing.

I’m thinking, should I write about the world or the current issues to make my page very interesting for the viewers? But it’s not something inspirational for me. I don’t know what to say about the world, yea of course the world is getting smaller and full with corruption but my writing won’t make any difference, right?

Speaking of the current issues, last Saturday I met our former prime minister, Tun Dr Sri Mahathir in BORDERS bookstore in Time Square, KL (OF ALL PLACES!). Yea, you heard about him going against Pak Lah some time ago. I don’t know what really happened in the end but I should have the answer when I read the book “Mahathir Vs Abdullah” which is actually residing on my table right now (just waiting for time to be flipped with fascination). People, we should be proud of him. He’s definitely a public figure and influencial to our nation. If I was wearing a decent clothing at that time (well, it was just a simple black top without sleeve, nothing very revealing, but still I wish i am wearing something enough to cover my puncture wound and my orion star), I would have been there like a little girl asking him for an autograph or a picture with him. Sure you’ll be jealous of me, rightttt???? Yeaaaa, I know whatever it is, there’s no picture or even an autograph of the great leader.

Speaking of meeting people, I met Yanus too. You know the bald guy in ‘So You Think You can dance’ TV show. No, not the dancer in the show, I am talking about the guy with the cap who give comments everytime the dancers finished delivering their pair performance. YES, that guy! Hmmm, I understand only those who watch the show is at the frequency I’m at right now. Never mind. Comes to it, I gotta let go the keyboard now, the programme is showing now and I can’t miss the show for the world. Till then!

P/s hmm, quite a long post. Let the post speaks for itself then.

A bad phase

Today i feel so poor and unproductive, feel so tired of everything. My PC is not working, and my laptop just collapsed when i need it the most.. Though i practically have 2 laptops and a pc, but none of it seems to be working at this critical moment. (SIGH!).. That's the physical part of it... Let's go to my health condition. I am having tonsilitis and it's damn painful, sore throat seems to be so happy to torture me and there goes my mouth ulcer. What's wrong with everything today? Everything is going haywire and making me go crazy today.

Everyone is having relationships downturn including me, i guess tharmaindra is having his mood swings today because of the whole project thing (and of course i am not in a position to make things easy for him).... i guess i need to revise my horoscope for the month (yea rite! as if it's very useful and reliable at this time)

poor me!

why was I not pampered?

Was with my family for almost a week, as much as I try to avoid them, it’s weird that it feels much better than I thought. I need to feel belong at times. I know I don’t really have a perfect family that I can rely on at times of need. But one thing happened that make me realize why my family seemed to ignore what I need. It came out from one of my cousin (through marriage cousin), we were talking about how we should be responsible with our own future and how we should develop ourselves, and he said to me “well, things seems easy for you though”

“why u say that?”

“well, I can tell the person you are the minute I saw you. You seem to like to do things on your own, you don’t like to get everybody involve with your life, and if u unintentionally get people involved, you get worried, scared and feel insecure after then. And, you get mad with yourself”

Is that true? Is it because I am too independent and immersed myself too much in my own wonderland that sometimes my family doesn’t pamper me like how they pamper my younger sibs? or was he being sarcastic and judging me rashly? Hmm, well if that is true then, yea it explains a lot.

expectations

Was talking to a friend one time and I simply said (but of course I mean it though!) “We shouldn’t expect anything from people, and people shouldn’t expect a lot from us.” And this friend of mine replied, “why not?” I was quite surprise with the answer.

For me, I’ll say “why ‘why not’ ”? I mean, we as human being arent as perfect as we hope to be. I get a lot of expectations from my family, my friends, my collegues, my supervisor etc. Being a typical human being, I know I am not perfect and I can’t do anything to make everyone satisfied. Seriously speaking, I am tired to feed everyone’s needs, maybe that’s why I like to be alone and do my own things. Maybe that’s why I’ll try not to owe anything from anyone. And maybe that’s why I like to get away, to have a peace of mind. I know nobody can understand the way things worked for me, and yea, likewise, I shouldn’t expect them to understand me either.