Saturday, January 24, 2009

Furiously helpless...

No matter how tough it’s gonna be. I have to fight for it. I am gonna finish that damn thing – the only part that’s holding me back from the finishing line.

I don’t understand the Malaysia Education system sometimes, particularly in research. Why is it difficult to make the student’s life easier by providing them equipments that can still ‘function’ and not just keeping it on a bench just to collect the happy dust? I mean Universities hired ONE Science Officer or Research Officer to handle ONE damn machine, and why can’t it be so difficult to maintain?

Don’t be surprise if you see some of the postgrade students spent 5-8 years (or forever..) doing post grade studies.


Those who’s thinking of doing research in the local universities, be wiser and choose the right thing before you get buried forever!

SIGNING OUT… deep frustration…..

Thursday, January 22, 2009


This is the one thing I shouldn’t keep my midnight oil burning, I tend to think a lot and tend to be…..emotional…about stuff...

Values?…. What does it say to you?

A lot of things we do these days are without a clear conscience. We forgot to remind ourselves, what is there to life? Is it just giving pleasure to yourself without thinking of what harm it might bring to your very existence?

We tend to make others feel miserable because of what is hurting us. We tend to ignore other person’s happiness because we, ourselves, failed to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We want them to suffer like us, is that really a friendship, a family? Love perhaps?

Sometimes I don’t understand why we need to suffer for others or why we need others to suffer for us? I don’t understand why we should hide our happiness just because the other person is not happy and why do we failed to accept other’s happiness just because they caused our misery.

I’ve been there, hurting and bleeding. Others ripped off my robes, put million thorns on my head, dragged me to what seems like an eternity journey with blood and mutilated wound. Crying till there’s no more tears to shed. Screaming till my throat is dried. Then, I realized, one thing that was very powerful at that time, now, and, then. A powerful healing to wounds and bloods.


Though I am somebody who doesn’t have the height, the beauty, the intelligence, the confidence, and the wit to influence others…. But I somehow know how to live a life, and that is – Love and being loved by everyone around you. I know the inferiority that greatly haunt my life, I see my disabilities. But I know where to stand and how. I know the limit I am taking, I am aware of my mistake, the biggest offense even God couldn’t stop crying for my blood.

My blood.

I have lost a father. A loving father. Who nurtured me with love, honesty and respect. What else I can do to honour his teaching for me? Should I take this excuse to be a monster? To be someone I never wanted to be? To take away everyone’s happiness because I am not happy?

Love, honesty and respect – that shall be with me till my last breath.

I’ll clean my white robe and face my sentence.

If you have lost somebody you have loved so much, honor their departure by honoring yourself with good values. Don’t waste your life. Be someone useful and happy.

I am dreaming of a day….when…

The oldest one in my family would pat me on my shoulder and says, “You have lived your life like you supposed to. Dad must be proud of you.”

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


Finally I got the last Twilight Saga. I received a call yesterday around 3pm from Borders of Tropicana Citymall, telling me the arrival of their new Twilight stocks. Have you ever heard of this mall before? Yes, I went all the way to find the book. 2 weeks ago, I went to Borders at The Curve to find New Moon for Britanny and the lady told me, all stocks (New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking dawn) were wiped out 2 hours after it was out on the shelves for selling. She told me to try Borders at Tropicana City Mall, assuring they might still have plenty of stocks in there. I searched for the mall immediately, and with Jimmy's help we found the place!! The mall is apparently still unknown because it was only opened recently, so it is still unreachable for many people. I got Britanny’s New Moon on that day and made reservations for us right away. After two weeks of waiting, their stocks arrived yesterday!

Afraid that they might not keep their promise, I drove to Tropicana City Mall in damansara to retrieve my last book of twilight. I managed to get few copies of breaking dawn and a copy of Eclipse for myself, Britanny and Lydia.

Twilight Saga Book 4 - Breaking Dawn

Those who are very curious about this frenzy and would like to try, go get your own copy. Here’s the prize of the book.

Twilight – RM35.50

New Moon – RM39.90

Eclipse – RM41.90

Breaking Dawn – RM49.90

A total of RM167.20 for all four. I spent this much despite being so financially tight so guys, be fair, get your own copy if you want to read.

To avoid disappointments, drive up to Tropicana City mall in damansara. You'll have high chances of getting all in one receipt.

Tropicana City Mall

Let me know if you need direction. :D

My happy happy shelf

SIGNING OUT....happily..

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