Wednesday, March 23, 2005

another unending story..a string on my neck

Had viva yesterday and it was what I called a disputation of being a student.
I have predicted the worse to come for the QA session of my presentation. What I can conclude from what had happened is that, it made me grow up and I think I did it, oh well despite of being shot by Dr VJ and Dr. Roziah with an M16 riffle and a sniper (reminds me of a PC game I was so addicted to once– counter strike). Believe it or not, I was a hard gamer a semester ago… visited cc for Counter Strike (CS) and Gunbound (GB) few times every week for the whole semester. I stopped my knowledge on PC games when I gave up on Warcraft, wow that game took me so long to get hold of it’s skills and im still bad at it though I knew few thing about building a nice community and environment for the army I created (I am a night elves fan)…well, for a girl I think it is good enough, dun u think my friend?

Had dinner at PUTERA today with Ms Teoh, her husband (Dr Vun) and bunch of her apprentices (including Jo and Clay)…hehehhe….wow, we had the best time of our thesis life with Ms Teoh just now…had lots of fun (lots of teasing here and there and man…we laughed a lot tonight, I mean all of us). Ms Teoh and Dr Vun are one hell of a loving couple and they are what I call fun people when you really get to know them…. Both of them are concern about our futures, we talked about it and yes we also got the chance to make fun of her and her husband, joke around with them a bit and make them blush…. Man, I tell you….they were so cute tonight!!!!

It’s just that tonight something keeps bothering my head, despite all the fun I had (I really had fun), im still worried about my LI. I cant get it out of my head, I keep on thinking about it until I got a migraine. somehow I feel im so lost, nowhere to go… feel so small right now…especially when seeing my friends are so getting ready for their LI, all of them are so happy about their destination for LI, while I myself feel unworthy to be part of the community. Apart from keeping myself happy for them, I am so nothing….. I know that this is just a test for me, that I have to be patient and stay unflustered about it. Right now, the only thing on my head is to plead and pray to God on my knees that he will stop these trials which suffocate me enough to death and put me some place I should go for LI….. Jaff gave suggestion about HKL, which I think stands for Hospital KL instead of IMR…thanks jaff for your help and sorry for putting you with so much troubles just to help me…if there is nothing more you could do, it’s okay (uve done enough to help) I take my way from here :( …I guess I have to work it out myself…I’ll try again to find some place else… Im seeing Dr Vun tomorrow morning and im planning to ask him if I can postpone my LI to next semester… im so doomed….this thing is like a string on my neck, overpowering my breathing system and trying its best to push back the oxygen to the air to prevent from entering to my lungs… urghhh, I rather die than stay in the hook and wait for the clouds to get by…. Goodnight everyone…. I guess it’s bedtime for me… gotta rest, been thinking too much already since two weeks ago… gotta put my head to rest…..

Saturday, March 19, 2005

a disastrous week for me...

It was a tough week for me, with all the dramatic events about LI and my outburst to Joanna and to my niece due to the intolerable person who delayed my planning on studying my last paper which was scheduled two days ago. All the dreadful things started at the beginning of the week and the company i was supposed to go for internship training had closed down their company for good (?!!) how is that possible? and the news crushed really bad because i was not prepared for it since i have no backup plans. i neglected my studies, wasnt so ready for the exam. but thanks to Joanna and Clarice who came to my rescue. They helped me with their extra notes which they got from internet and they just made everything easy for me.

After all the the difficulties ive gone thru, at last Jaff told me that i could take his place in IMR since he's going to Korea for LI with Joanna and two other girls. Im happy for jaff and at the same time his good news is also my good news... i havent told any of my family members about it since i havent received a black and white document on acceptance of replacing Jaff's place in IMR. I bet My parents would be very unpleased with it since im after all leaving Sabah. But just like my sister Rozie told me, it's just less than 3 months..

I might stay with Shasha's family in Subang. I was given choices whether to stay with Shasha's parents or stay with Shashi's rented house with his girlfriend which is only few blocks away from shasha's hse. Shasha is still doing her med course in Malacca so i will only see her during weekends. But i think i will be more comfortable staying with Aunty Ann and Uncle L.

Dr Z's paper is indeed a blessing to me. At least ive prepared for her questions since ive predicted it... thanks jaff for giving me the tips...oh well, i owed jaffri a lot already, hmm... should give him something for're the best jaff!!
we're gona have our Biotech's family day next week...not sure whether i'll be driving or not since jaff said the roads to Pantai Dalit is quite narrow, scared that it will scratch my sister's car. unless i get to bring my brother fred's honda, then im willing to drive. his car is unscratchable...hehehehe...

Im presiding again this week, last week with the spirits and all the blessings given to me, i was able to do God's work which according to the other senior leaders is quite impressive for a first timer...they have given me all the credits which i did not expect and wanting me to preside again... cant say no to God, so i accepted the duty again... this time it's going to be harder since its the important event in Christian's life, but will do it!!!

To be continued......

Friday, March 11, 2005

Another day to go through...

I just finished the outline for sunday's CLW. it was a tough one since it's my first time presiding in front of the children in St. Simon church. But i guess it was not that bad since it doesn't involve the whole church goers of St Simon. My audiences are the little ones, age between 2-11 years old, and usually we had about 20-30 children came for the children mass. However, i dont think it would be easy too because these kids are too young to understand the things going around them and it won't be easy to make them understand and pay attention to you while you're giving the reflections on sunday gospel at the holy alter.

Sadly, today I missed the station of Cross because Chris was 20 minutes late. Worse still, i was supposed to meet Aunt Julia at 7.30pm to show her my sunday outline, but she sms me while i was preparing dinner for my family saying that she can only make it before 7.30pm since she has to go somewhere at 7.30pm. So we canceled our meeting and i told her that i'll send my outline through internet instead without even thinking that i have to type the whole thing which is two pages long. That was still okay, the problem after that was, i couldnt get online because my account was blocked due to some pending payment. a lesson for me not to take things for granted. poor chris, he had to call few person to get an ID and pw from anyone to go online. Lucky for me, my sister managed to get one for me which is the one im using now. Listening to Jaci Velasquez now and having an ice blended pure chocolate which Jimmy bought for me.
Well, now that im done with two killing papers and another one to go which is abt less than a week from today... i began to think about my future...
fyi, im going to fo my LI in Kinabalu Biotech... yea, i think i should be glad that after all im stuck here in Borneo, thanks to my mom and dad, and also to my siblings who insisted on me staying....i ges im still their lil' girl...argh, that hurts...LITTLE GIRL??!!! im turning 23, for God sake...

At least now, i can watch Buffy which help me to put a smile on my face and see my charming Spike (who, in the series, is in love with his own enemy, Buffy).
Just read Jef's blog. yes, i agree with has been a long time since we have a fruitful talk, not that we can stop crapping, huh jef? we always have ideas to make each other laugh... :) im quite surprised tho' that u din get Korea, but oh well jef, doesnt mean your journey stops there. I can see your bright future even if im here 100 miles from you. I have a special telescope here that can see your future instantly *lol*...
It hurts my ear too when my sisters asked me why didnt i apply for it when i told them about Joanna's offer to Korea. I have to explain to them that my result is not good enough considering the competition and the requirements. Even if i have applied, my application will be turned down effortlessly. so might as well don't put in the application. I watched American Idol last night, and America have chosen their 12 finalist... well, if u ask me, i would vote for Bo Bice the one singing Edwin Mccain's song few nights back and not forgetting Jessica Sierra who has the best vocal among the women vocalist.
It's 12.12am now... :) gotta have my beauty sleep to write more since i have so many ideas in my head now... a girl gotta sleep when a girl gotta sleep... adios people!!

The story of my "apple" tree

about a month ago, an educated person, Dr. Roz has given me a seed of an "apple" tree. she taught us all about the "apple" tree, how can we generate them...
At first, i have to know the concept of where to get the seed. Whether i get the seed from Australia, or New Zealand or maybe Kundasang, Ranau. The searching protocol of these seed can be achieved by taking a motocar or airplane or maybe privet jet (If you are rich enuf). Then after that i have to analyse the seed whether i get the correct breed that i want. then, i have to aligne it, pairwise or multiple...depending upon my preferences.
Then i plant them.... there...i get my "apple" tree.... u hv to see whether it bear fruit or not...if it bear fruit then it means u understand the whole procedure...
for those who did it, CONGRATULATION!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

"apple" tree in my head, what r the sequences???

woke up late again, like every other day....getting used to sleeping till the sun goes up and high above my head, feels like im a princess in the morning, with nobody interupt my morning dreams...argh, reminds me of my tsunami nightmares few nights ago!!!

got a morning call from joanna, yehhh, one of my very good friend is going off country for LI...proud of ye, lady!! (If u ever read this, *chuckle*).. go for it while the chance is there and make a good "slam dunk" when ure there... im all out supporting ye...

argh, AMG paper is tomorrow and my head now is full with bioinformatics and "apple" tree with different organisms on each branch (i ges only biotech students could understand wut im talking abt here)... now im on my way to the ending of bioinfo 3 (last lecture of DR. Roz) and im so excited...tats y im here :) actually im here to send some notes to clay thru' the internet and cant get offline without dropping a few words here...

To those who r still fighting for the final xm, goodluck!!!
To biotech students, third year especially, its our last battle... go and kick some butts..ooops, there's only paper to write on for exam ryte, no butts... oh, then...go and mess with your brain and fill up the spaces with a piece of HOT choc CAKe!! hehehhe, i am so crapping...

Monday, March 07, 2005

10 reasons why i think i am now a grown up

1. my parents stopped pestering me about my life and i have the full freedom to do anything i want.
2. I dun have curfew
3. I buy lottery ticket.
4. I have a driving license.
5. Ive experienced sadness, joy and dissapointments in my life
6. Im turning 23
7. I can even drink and get drunk if i want to, its just that i dun practice it in my life.
8. I can watch porn movie, hehehhe...just that i choose not to LOL..
9. Im dating the same guy for the past three years and my family adores him
10. Im almost a degree holder, then i might just find a job, get married and reproduce.... :) and die.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Say Goodbye to ASSIGNMENTS and Hi to EXAMS

ask any biotech students, hows their days for the past few weeks... or better still, ask me! tell ya was a HELLUVA disastrous for all of us... with thesis in your head for the whole week of Chinese New Year hols... it doesnt even feel like holiday for all of us... and not to forget the mini thesis and lab reports which tagged along the deadlines for thesis... *SCREAMING*!! BUT now... those are so behind me, but that wasnt the end, there's exam to haunt us for days...

yesterday was the last day of greatest journey called "assignment" and last night i was back to my bed of roses, borrowed sanchiya's pocket DVD and had "BUFFY" marathon for the whole night until my eyes cant take it anymore...

i missed dinner last night, watch buffy with empty tummy and when i see this part where Willow, Xander and Anya had chips during their night patrol at the cemetery to cover for Buffy who was still in recovery, leaving Riley to do the cat-action part alone. i became so hungry and i want to have CHIPS so badly at that very i went down to search for something to munch in the fridge, searched around in the store where all the dry foods are kept but no chip for me to munch :(

see, i get crazy when i have so many time to spend... :)

oh, I might as well just study for GE paper now...

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