another unending story..a string on my neck

Had viva yesterday and it was what I called a disputation of being a student.
I have predicted the worse to come for the QA session of my presentation. What I can conclude from what had happened is that, it made me grow up and I think I did it, oh well despite of being shot by Dr VJ and Dr. Roziah with an M16 riffle and a sniper (reminds me of a PC game I was so addicted to once– counter strike). Believe it or not, I was a hard gamer a semester ago… visited cc for Counter Strike (CS) and Gunbound (GB) few times every week for the whole semester. I stopped my knowledge on PC games when I gave up on Warcraft, wow that game took me so long to get hold of it’s skills and im still bad at it though I knew few thing about building a nice community and environment for the army I created (I am a night elves fan)…well, for a girl I think it is good enough, dun u think my friend?

Had dinner at PUTERA today with Ms Teoh, her husband (Dr Vun) and bunch of her apprentices (including Jo and Clay)…hehehhe….wow, we had the best time of our thesis life with Ms Teoh just now…had lots of fun (lots of teasing here and there and man…we laughed a lot tonight, I mean all of us). Ms Teoh and Dr Vun are one hell of a loving couple and they are what I call fun people when you really get to know them…. Both of them are concern about our futures, we talked about it and yes we also got the chance to make fun of her and her husband, joke around with them a bit and make them blush…. Man, I tell you….they were so cute tonight!!!!

It’s just that tonight something keeps bothering my head, despite all the fun I had (I really had fun), im still worried about my LI. I cant get it out of my head, I keep on thinking about it until I got a migraine. somehow I feel im so lost, nowhere to go… feel so small right now…especially when seeing my friends are so getting ready for their LI, all of them are so happy about their destination for LI, while I myself feel unworthy to be part of the community. Apart from keeping myself happy for them, I am so nothing….. I know that this is just a test for me, that I have to be patient and stay unflustered about it. Right now, the only thing on my head is to plead and pray to God on my knees that he will stop these trials which suffocate me enough to death and put me some place I should go for LI….. Jaff gave suggestion about HKL, which I think stands for Hospital KL instead of IMR…thanks jaff for your help and sorry for putting you with so much troubles just to help me…if there is nothing more you could do, it’s okay (uve done enough to help) I take my way from here :( …I guess I have to work it out myself…I’ll try again to find some place else… Im seeing Dr Vun tomorrow morning and im planning to ask him if I can postpone my LI to next semester… im so doomed….this thing is like a string on my neck, overpowering my breathing system and trying its best to push back the oxygen to the air to prevent from entering to my lungs… urghhh, I rather die than stay in the hook and wait for the clouds to get by…. Goodnight everyone…. I guess it’s bedtime for me… gotta rest, been thinking too much already since two weeks ago… gotta put my head to rest…..