Tuesday, July 31, 2007

another gloomy weather

I was in the lab today and again my body is still weak. But there are things to be done today. I was supposed to have GC training with the science officer but the machine wasn't in a good state since there's a leaking somewhere. We have no choice but to postpone the training, again!!!! So I did some small work on media preparation and sterilisation before i start running my sample again. The day was gloomy, so was I. I got no energy and no mood to join my other lab mates on their hot topic of the day.

While I was busy doing some work in the other lab, my lab mates went for lunch. Of course like usual they go without me. But I know I shouldn’t get mad just because I was not informed about the lunch since they know I don’t like the food served in the cafĂ© and moreover I brought some lunch with me.

While waiting for the autoclave, I walked down to my car because I left my food there. I was so hungry that I ended up eating my lunch in the car. Alone but it doesn’t matter to me because I am used to it. I remember when I first came here, having lunch and dinner alone was practically usual and somehow I enjoyed the silence. Some people think it’s weird but for me it’s weirder to have someone clinging onto you at all times.

T is leaving for Penang soon and of course that is not a good news. But at the same time, I am happy that he’s leaving for his career and I know it means a lot to him.

Jim just got a key for my easy access to my sister’s place in Taman Desa. The security guard was already informed of my presence at any time of the week. I am still thinking whether to move out to my sister’s place or stay in the current place. I'll have to wait till i finish my list of 'staying' or 'not staying'.

A sad story i could only tell

My little niece told me once about this story and it made me cry when she uttered word by word telling me how unfair the people around her can be. There are times I am in the position. It is so difficult to be nice to everyone. How much kindness you have to give to someone? Until it gets to your nerve or until it made u cry?

Aren is Beeny’s friend. Beeny loves to eat burger. One day, Aren was hungry, and there was only Beeny’s burger left. Beeny was not really hungry, as much as Beeny loves the burger which Beeny wished to keep for dinner, Beeny offered Aren her burger. Aren was happy and gave Beeny the sweetest smile she can give. In fact, Beeny doesn’t mind at all. Beeny is just glad that Aren is happy.

One day, Beeny is sick so Beeny couldn’t go anywhere. Aren wanted to eat again but she has no money at the moment. She wanted to borrow Beeny’s money, but Beeny needs the money to buy her medicine which in the end she did buy the medicine with the money she has. Aren did not know that Beeny needs the money for medicine nor she wanted to know Beeny's reason, so she was really furious because Beeny did not help her. Aren was moody the whole day. Her father asked what went wrong and did Beeny hurt her? Her response made it obvious to her father that it’s Beeny’s fault.

Beeny heard the story and was very upset. How could Aren be so cruel to her. Beeny wanted to get angry and feel like telling Aren off but Beeny just couldn’t because Aren is her friend. Aren always get what she wanted and if she does not get it, she’ll start putting face and cry. What could Beeny do, she’s so tiny in the situation. So she kept silent and waited for Aren to say something so Beeny could explain herself. But then again, it’s best to let it go, and that is why Beeny like to be alone.

Some people doesn’t understand the hardship we have to go through and somehow it’s not fair to expect them to understand, I know. But why do we need to scratch ourselves to make the people around you happy? So that they will always think you’re such a nice and sweet person because you are willing to go all they way for them??????

Why did I go so far away from my family? Because I couldn’t stand the pressure and the expectations.

Sometimes it is so frustrating to be a daughter, a sister, a student and a friend. You have to do what they WANT you to do.

I think I mentioned a lot of times, I hate expectations but it keeps on coming to me. I had enough of people telling me what they want me to do for them. Yea, maybe that’s why I like to be alone. I survived being alone so I don’t really mind if I have to do it again and again.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Life that i loved!!

for many weeks, a lot of things changed gradually without seeing it coming. My brother has got married to his fiancee of a year which also suits him perfectly and the day the wedding took place, everyone just can't believed he is married. He has been single for long and we've met few of his flames in the past, some were approved by family and some were not but i think everything is already planned from the start. He is destined to be with her, only time matters. I was stunned when i found out he spent around rm40K for the whole ceremony. WOW!! getting married is not cheap, if u decide not to elope or 'kahwin kampung'. Well, what can he do. everyone in the family wanted it big. lucky some contributed or else he'll be damn broke.

The wedding is just 'wow', i must say it's the wedding of the year! everything was organized perfectly and the holes are filled just right. Everyone anticipated for the moment and all of us enjoyed every bit of it. Say no more, it was a day to remember and i love it to the max...

Then again, there was the Rainforest World Music Fest 2007 which was held in Damai Cultural Village, Sarawak. Before going, i was thinking if i should just go or cancel the plan, but my friends are expecting me and i just can't seem to dissappoint them. But now if you ask me, i would tell you it was never a regret paying a visit to my dear friends in sarawak and at the same time party with them despite spending over a K during my visit (which also include the ticket). It was fun and never will i forget those moments i spent with them.

There are more to tally here but telling it all in one go isn't fun, right? i'll leave some space for you to figure out what will come next in my post. hahaha.

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