Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Kassie kicking monster's butt on Ellen

Video response for the previous post..

and watch when she says, "That's a bad word!"

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Laughter is the best medicine!

This one here is about this small girl telling her mom what she'll do when a monster comes..

watch this..

When a 3 years old is asked about monsters..

Mom: and tell mommy again, what you said you were gonna do to him if he came here.

Little girl: I said im gonna kick his ask (ass)

Mom: ouhh.. (*LAUGH*). That's not nice..

Little girl: If he's gonna come in here, he's gonna kick my ask!

Mom Laughed. The girl smiling.

Mom: He will?

Little girl: yeaaa.. (smile) They will come out right in the movie, hw'll come out. He gonna come out and kick my ask.

Mom laughed.

Little girl: and i can kick his ask.

Mom: Okay, but that's not a nice word. You should take 'kick his butt'

Little girl: ooooouuuuhhhh (long one)

biting fingers can be fun, ya know..

This one here is a total classic.. one of my favourite which i found about a month ago and only managed to put it here this time..

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Three things in our life..

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back :

1. Time
2. Words
3. Opportunity

Three things in life that can destroy a person :

1. Anger
2. Pride
3. Unforgiveness

Three things in life that you should never lose :

1. Hope
2. Peace
3. Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable :

1. Love
2. Family
3. Kindness

Three things in life that are never certain :

1. Fortune
2. Success
3. Dreams

Three things that make a person :

1. Commitment
2. Sincerity
3. Hard work

Three things that are truly constant :

Father - Son - Holy Spirit

The best moments in Life

T he Be s t M om e n t s I n L if e

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing till your stomach hurts.

3. Enjoying a ride down the country side.

4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio.

5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.

6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel.

7. Passing your final exams with good grades.

8. Being a part of an interesting conversation.

9. Finding some money in some old pants..

10. Laughing at yourself.

11. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends.

12. Laughing without a reason.

13. "Accidentally" hearing someone say something good about you.

14. Watching the sunset.

15. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life.

16. Receiving or giving your first kiss.

17. Feeling this buzz in your body when seeing this "special" someone.

18. Having a great time with your friends.

19. Seeing the one you love happy.

20. Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her perfume..

21. Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories.

22. Hearing someone telling you "I LOVE YOU"

"True friends come in the good times when we tell them to, and come in the bad times......without calling."

"Success is not only measured by the position one has achieved in life, but by the obstacles one has overcome while trying to succeed."

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The workload *sigh*

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The lodging issue

I just told my housemates today about my decision to move out, the other one was taking it well that she seemed excited to find someone to replace me, which is okay for me actually. The other one seemed very surprised. At first I thought she’ll see it coming but I guess I came too suddenly that she wasn’t prepared for my decision. The problem now is, the ownership of the furniture and some utensils at home. I feel bad taking the things which belong to me, but I hope they will manage. I still need to talk to them about my share. But first, I need to look for a better lodging with better security and extra facilities will be very nice. If that fails, then there’s always Taman Desa to crash. I have two more months to do house hunting and also to look for a replacement for my room.

Some might wonder why the sudden decision to move out after settling down with the basics to serve the household needs. The thing is, I have reached my boiling point to compromise with the security of the present place. There were nights I was awake all night, worried sick of the safety of my car whenever I hear some sound outside my window. The rempits continue to irritate me though it does not happen every night. The 2 days in a week Pasar Malam is another issue. Going back late is never an option, and the problem is nowadays there is a need for me to be out late so that makes it more reasonable to find a new place. I have asked one of my housemate about moving to a better place, she wasn’t interested so I made my move before anything bad happen to me or my car. It’s important to put safety into your top priorities.

I am tired of thinking so I have made my decision and there’s no looking back. The people I will be moving in together are those crazy people I love to share my life with. So that was another catalyst to my reasoning.

So many things in my head. I have to think about the letter to MOSTI on the extension of my semester, which I am writing as we speak. It was just a formal letter, yet I am draining my brain to get it done. Formal letter in BM is tough, with all the words you are trying to get into writing, it feels like all the juice in my brain has drained out.

Sleepiness is taking over me so let’s just put this to a dot because I still need to finish up the letter. Till then people. Me signing off.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Something about friends in our lives..

We have friends around us, some may willing to understand you without having to justify yourself to them. Some might just say, ‘you’re just being how you are,’ but there are some who doesn’t know how things work for me, and some might even judge me from one mistake or for how I am and I was. Whatever it is, these are your friends, for better or for worse.

I may not be an easy person though I can get along with almost everybody. For me, it’s just a matter of choice whether I choose to be around or withdraw myself from the zone I am uncomfortable with. I may sound cruel here, but I am just being realistic. The friends that put a smile on your face are the friends worth keeping in your life. But for those who only bring agony to your life, why bother dragging yourself to make them make happy so you’ll be happy too? I don’t see a point to why some effort has to make in order to make it work when it’s already broken from the start, unless you think the friendship is worth fixing. Like mine back in KK. I remember those painful moments I had in 2006, losing the crowd that u felt belong once, and its just gone like that. I had to come out from my own woes, to reconcile with them. With all God's blessings, and it was all worth it.

But then again, people come and go. Some may stay in your life, and some may only stay for just a brief moment. Those precious friends whom had to leave will be in my memory box forever and of course it was painful to see them go but life has to go on.

Some friends are obviously hanging around you because you have something to offer, I am still not sure if these people are sincerely want to be my friend, but let time decide and I won’t be judging them unless it’s clear that I am only a toy for transportation purposes or maybe for something else. They know I am always there to help, cos I care for all the friends I have around me. Sometimes it hurts when they don’t understand you. I guess it’s normal.

I love my CSS friends, that is for certain because they make me feel belong again, feel something beyond words. Nothing like the feeling of betrayal or being used, I guess it’s the common thing we have, the love of God in us. I sense sincerity in them whenever I am around them, that’s why I am sticking to this circle of friends, because they make me feel safe.

This post is just something from my head. I hope I did not trigger anything that leads to sadness because that’s not what I am trying to do. I am just letting out what’s inside.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Self Harm and the secret scars

I came across some videos in youtube about self harm and I myself, wonder. We protect ourselves from harm, either in the short term or the long term like, wearing safety belt or helmets on the road and some even take nutrition for health, exercising regularly or avoid smoking. So we probably don’t understand these people who mutilate themselves physically, and some might probably keep away from them, thinking that they might harm us one day.

I was just thinking, what are they thinking about hurting themselves at that time? Of course it’s ridiculous to acutely damage our own body and I myself couldn’t bring myself to see blood, even the smell of blood is too much to take, what more cutting myself with sharp items.

Self harm can be from a lot of things, even hitting your head to the wall deliberately is one, or maybe just biting your own fingers, but some people can go disorderly extreme harming themselves. I have seen my father throwing his head to a pillar at home when he was freaking angry at one of us. Even one of my childhood friends, whom showed me his healed scars, not just one or two scars but his left hand was covered with those painful scars. I was very shocked of course; I asked him “What happened?? Why did you do it?”

He told me, “There are times I feel so useless, so wasteful.”

I am lying if I say I never did that myself. Yes, I have cut myself once for a very very stupid reason and that time i was a lot younger and weak, unable to control my emotion. It happened when I was in 4th form of my secondary level. I had a crush on my best friend for like the longest time, and the day before I cut myself, I thought honesty is the best policy so I confronted him and confessed. What happened was, the guy did not say anything encouraging, instead he was hoping I didn’t say it . I had a panic attack the next day and cut myself in front of my classmates. A friend saw and she was furiously angry at me, so I had to stop. A year later, this guy became my boyfriend, lasted 2 months, only to find that he is a total jerk.

Oh no, that was the second time actually. Gosh, I’m a serial self-harmer. LOL. The first time happened when i was in my second school. I moved to 3 different schools in secondary schoolyear. I was a transferred student from KK High School that time. So basically, everyone knows that I am from the city. I get extra attention from the boys, and my excellent achievement in academic was acknowledged by the faculty members of the school. Technically, I was noticed by the whole school, which was not a good news to some people.

One of my classmates came to me and she said, “Can you let me get No.1 in the class this time?” Well, that explains how the girls in my class hated me, so no surprise I didn’t have many friends except for the ‘few guys’ sitting beside me in my class. So coming back to our topic today, self harm; so basically, I was pretty upset with the whole situation. So a friend I am going to talk about is one of the nicest boys and the smartest one in my class. At that time, English was my strength, so after our essay book was returned, I asked him if I could see his essay. He refused to give. I had to beg. And he still refused. So that time sadness got into me, I thought everybody hates me, including the few friends I had at that time. I took my mechanical pencil and scratched my hand until it bleeds. The people who were sitting with us saw and started asking him to just give his essay book, and he still refused to give. Well, I kinda forgot how it ended that time.

So basically, that’s just that. What i did was just minor, nothing like in that picture. But no more after those stupid act.

The message I am trying to give here is, if you came to know a friend who is a self-harmer, we shouldn’t let them handle it alone. At least that will help a bit in their problem-solving. Im just saying, put yourself in their shoes, maybe they don’t have the strength like we have or maybe they just need to talk to someone, as a good friend, I think we should let them know that they can reach out to us.

I hope this is a point worth taking peeps.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

CSS Annual Dinner 2008

Dinner was great. I had fun. The real fun I didn’t experience for such a long time. It was one of the greatest, with wonderful people around me. It’s like too good to be true.

I remember CSS annual dinner about a year ago, my date for the night was Ivan and speaking of Ivan he sent me a ‘comment’ on friendster recently, saying he was wondering about me and he was curious about my silence. Just about this time, I am missing all the good old days I had with him. The brotherly/sisterly love we shared, the crazy wrestling we had in the backseat of Emily’s car and I remember those scratches I gave on his hands because too much of playing and kicking each other like nobody’s business. Fuh~ he is my teddy bear. LOL!

This year, my partner was Lydia, practically because the crazy session we had few days before the event, the ‘going-to-saloon-to-fix-the-hair’, and the ‘going-together’ though we were practically transported to the venue in a different car, because Bryan insisted to drive me.

There are so much to tell, let me just sum it up by uploading some pictures, and maybe I’ll embed some videos I uploaded in youtube.

so Enjoy!!!

The gorgeous Sarawakians and Sabahans, all with their beautiful smiles

They acknowledged me!!! AWWWWWWWWWWW!

Me and Bryan (very gentleman, the guy i called B, the guy who called me F, my salsa partner, the guy who's willing to do almost anything for you, the guy who's awesome in violin)

The Hollywood BFFs, Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie, entertaining the audience with the infamous 'STARS ARE BLIND'

me and the guys, at the grand entrance.. LOL!

Some cool videos!!


Canon in D

Friday, April 04, 2008

Exam Mass

I guess my blog has been really boring with all the pictures i uploaded from the net. So here goes the real life pictures. Thanks to B who was the cameraman for the event.

Exam mass. Fr.Chris "whatcha looking at?" (ooopss, pardon me Fr.!)

The playmaker (Lester lead guitar,William second-line guitar,Christine keyboardist) Lester acah ja main keyboard..

The new exco 08/09(Connie, Brenda, and i dont know why William is there)

The infamous joker, Bibi and myself

Thanks B, for this photo (I fell in love with William's guitar, probably will get something like this in near future)

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Feeling human again

It was another great day for me, lab is finally getting better. I am beginning to find my perfect ground to dwell for the next few months. My bacteria are growing well though two culture plates show negative growth. Plus, I finally decided what to do with my next experiment and proceed the order, and there goes another paper which I have to edit before submitting it to my supervisor. Everything was normal and almost perfect today. I left UKM with happy smiles, driving back with Lydia next to me. We’re going to have our little session we called ‘dressing up like a star’ in my room.

Lydia is playing ‘Katie Holmes’ with her green dress and her bob hairstyle which resembles Vic Beckham’s signature cut; and I am playing the infamous Hollywood character ‘Paris Hilton’ with my pink flowery dress which Neena bought for me from Singapore last year. My collections of accessories and hers combined made it difficult for us to choose, but after dawdling on the options for sometime, we finally got it perfect. We sat around for awhile and start gossiping about things going around us, I feel like real human again. Finally normal.

I joined Lydia for the CSS's Exam Mass.. At first I was like “what the hell I’m doing here. I don’t even have exam coming up or anything like that?’ But then again, i was there and I had fun. *still feeling guilty about playing around with Lyd and Bibi during Homily* We had refreshments after mass and we stayed for a bit before going off. So much of catching up to do. Had some jokes with Fr.Chris about ‘tattoo’ and life after death. It was just so cool having that informal chat with him. As usual my loyal salsa partner, Bryan a.k.a B (who called me F), is always there to make me laugh. Gosh, it's hard to ignore him!

After mass, we had supper in Al-Fariz with 5-6 tables combined together. Bryan sat with me. My throat was very dry due to excessive talking and laughing. plus the singing during mass. I guess i was just lucky for not coughing out my phlegm in front of all of them and humiliate myself.

This week is going to be great. something to look forward. Great. Life is just great and I am of course in jolly mood. *Big Grin*

p.s im still waiting for the pictures from B. Once the transfer is done, then i can upload some cool pics to share with you people out there..

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Bizarro, my evil twin..

I was thinking of all the negativity I had for the past few days, the foul mood for like a month plus. I watched people come and go, and at one point I fell in love with Kimmy (Jimmy’s cat), only to hurt myself more than it already did. It was a terrible month for me, with all my complex nature, and all the things I have to bear in the lab, the friends that I have earnestly rejected, the companionship that I neglected, God, I was bitter and full with resentment.

When I think about what happened to me, I see a point. It all started when I was physically, mentally and emotionally violated by the man with the darkest heart I ever known. It gave me a deep scar in the most inner part of being.

It became harder when changes happened at my place, my room is getting spacious, almost empty (like how im feeling now), I thought I might like it but it feels weird. The house has been sullen by silence, anger, distance and estrangement. Oh man, this is becoming so poetic.

But today, my friends…. I am in a good mood. Thanks for those who are still standing by me though I have been rejecting them for quite sometimes because of all this shits going on in my head. It was not you or anybody else. It was just my nature, like the saying ‘old habit die hard.’ That small devil in me is trying to take over my life, but today the victory is mine and so long to that ‘bizzaro’ side of mine (though I know you might come back for another battle).

Those, you know who you are, thank you.

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