The IMPERFECT me!!
Things had been going perfectly normal for me. Like usual, I am trying my best to improve my performance as a master student, and even though how much I tried to come up to the standard, I know nothing will be enough to value the qualities I have.
The thing is, it was not the fault of others that I am feeling down like this and I know it happened a lot of times that sometimes people just figured that I am just being me.
Yes, in fact, I am being me. But the key problem is – I let people put my guard down, I let them get the best of me, I let them insult me, look down on me, I let them treat me like I am the most insensitive person in the world that they can just shoot me with their sharp words. I let them talk sarcastically to me, I let them JUDGE me, even my good friends do that to me!!! That’s how pathetic I can be (Sigh!).
People can just tell me what to do, and disrespect me like how my sister and her husband treat me sometimes. I assumed that they just forgot that I have feelings though they have actually violated my sincerity and kindness. I feel so dishonored sometimes. I have been trying everything possible to give my best and sometimes I just dunno where I am going anymore - is it for other people or for myself. But like what I have been pointing since the beginning, there’s no expectation I have for the people around me, and the same I hope they will not put any high expectations on me because when you set a standard, I don’t think I can be the best person you want me to be. Like what people has been saying, I am just being me. There – they just said that!
But as far as I am concern, even though sometime I can be very unreliable in keeping the routine goes on, I am very honest and sincere in what I am giving. I hope I can be appreciated even as imperfect as I am. I am not so perfect, making mistakes are what I do best. But I am always trying to be the best I can be, I think I’ve said that already.
So dear friends and those who knows me, I know i am far from being perfect. But i hope you can accept me for what I am because if you can't accept the way i have been and the way i will be, I am afraid I might not making the A-list of the people you will consider as a true friend because I just can’t do more than what I am capable of. But what i have given is nothing but my sincerity and my care. As much as i want things to work out, it is He who gives and only He who can give.
Thank you for your time.
The thing is, it was not the fault of others that I am feeling down like this and I know it happened a lot of times that sometimes people just figured that I am just being me.
Yes, in fact, I am being me. But the key problem is – I let people put my guard down, I let them get the best of me, I let them insult me, look down on me, I let them treat me like I am the most insensitive person in the world that they can just shoot me with their sharp words. I let them talk sarcastically to me, I let them JUDGE me, even my good friends do that to me!!! That’s how pathetic I can be (Sigh!).People can just tell me what to do, and disrespect me like how my sister and her husband treat me sometimes. I assumed that they just forgot that I have feelings though they have actually violated my sincerity and kindness. I feel so dishonored sometimes. I have been trying everything possible to give my best and sometimes I just dunno where I am going anymore - is it for other people or for myself. But like what I have been pointing since the beginning, there’s no expectation I have for the people around me, and the same I hope they will not put any high expectations on me because when you set a standard, I don’t think I can be the best person you want me to be. Like what people has been saying, I am just being me. There – they just said that!
But as far as I am concern, even though sometime I can be very unreliable in keeping the routine goes on, I am very honest and sincere in what I am giving. I hope I can be appreciated even as imperfect as I am. I am not so perfect, making mistakes are what I do best. But I am always trying to be the best I can be, I think I’ve said that already.
So dear friends and those who knows me, I know i am far from being perfect. But i hope you can accept me for what I am because if you can't accept the way i have been and the way i will be, I am afraid I might not making the A-list of the people you will consider as a true friend because I just can’t do more than what I am capable of. But what i have given is nothing but my sincerity and my care. As much as i want things to work out, it is He who gives and only He who can give.
Thank you for your time.
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