a touching moment...

wow, it has been more than a month i didnt blog...

fuh~~ what a busy month... with all the deadlines at hand, i tell ya... i was going nuts with everything... lucky for me, there's no urgent reports or assginment to be submitted this week, only my second draft which i should be doing now for Ms teoh's review before she flies off. erm, but i must get the mood before starting my work, thats the only prob...was kinda upset few hours ago.. was thinking about the future ahead, what should i be doing with my life?? should i stay here and let myself be fed with all the luxury i can get or the second option will be just go somewhere out of here and let myself suffer but still have a blissful life with limited freedom, isnt that something to be considered???? money or happiness?? of course money will be a great advantage and a helping hand to achieve your dreams.. but then, there's no happiness for me without enjoying every minute of the accomplishment of my dreams.... see??? it's all about choices...

but then again, i dont mind being alone, poor and have the need to go through all the hardships in life if it is for the triumph i will relish later... i just want to be somebody in my father's eye... He has been the reason to why im still standing here... without all his supports, I knw im nothing.. and all the dreams that i have, he has been the shadow that keeps me going all this while, even if he's not here with me, helping me when im in need but like i said i still need that shadows... the background of all the dreams ive created in my fantasy-but-yet-seem-so-real-for-me...

i just wish things in my family had been like few years ago where the sense of caring for each other is still there instilled in everyone's heart... we, the younger generation in the family became the victim of this discreet violence... love people!!!! Love!!!!! is it so hard to love???!!!!!! it breaks my heart to see everyone is heading to a different direction... seems like there's no point to fight for it... but dear siblings, i still want to go on fighting because i know it's worth fighting for... i still have energy in me before i decide which way i want to go... dear mom, who's not doing well too...please, for my sake, hold on to it, i still love you... :(

please everyone, i dont think it's so hard to have love for each other... dear friends whom I've hurt intentionally or unintentionally, im sorry... i didnt mean to show off my ego and take in the pride... all i know is that, now, God has been so good and kind to me, sit quietly in my heart, telling me that it's okay to be humble and poor, there is a thing called forgiveness... so i guess that the love that we learn from HIM is so much greater than the achievements we made in our life...