I am no superman anymore, I realized I have lost my power..

I guess I have to always remind myself to move on and stop thinking why things happened. My name seems to be fading away in people’s mind and somehow I think people seem to forget that I ever existed in this life. Years of connection do not seem so important anymore, and those ugly things materialized in those agony stage of existence in the past are still a highlight. I know no matter how much I try to remove those misery, the reminiscence of the past still remain at its own memory box and I am still the odd one out.

Here I am again in my own hiding place, ignoring everyone and everything that bothers me. The truth is, I feel so alone at this time that it scares me. I have been very temperimental lately and isolation appeared to be the best medicine, not knowing that I am hurting myself and the people around me. I don’t know what I am doing anymore. It’s just so hard to make everyone proud of me, look at me like I am the hero. I am no hero and I know that sounds very sad but it’s true.

I always tell myself to give me something to myself to hold on, to hope for so I will keep on going. I hope one day, I understand the things that happened to me now and then. The serious loneliness that consumed my whole energy and the drive to keep on fighting underscored my perfect being now. Again, sad but true.

I just miss being the old me, happy and carefree, loved by everyone. All the flash memories of me being the champ of my own zone is just a history to me now. I have to let it go and accept the fact that things have changed, they changed for a reason.