here and now

I will try my very best to update my blog at least once a week. My words are becoming shorter each day and the only communication I have for now is my brain, if you ever call 'that' a communication. My daily life is burning me out everyday. Work, family and also my professor who is still taking a long time correcting my thesis.

Work has been busy everyday. I had to face new things every single day. My job in the office are basically 30% Procurement, 20% administration tasks, 10% HR and 20% project development tasks which include 20% of finance (imagine all the costing & budget I have to do). It's like setting up a whole new company from scratch. Well, as a matter of fact, it is still a new company under the group company. You want solid experience? Go for manufacturing industry. You will learn a lot in no time. My BIL told me that he will put me as one of the board members once I am ready. But I am not sure how involved I am mentally and emotionally in this family business. I think they gonna kill me if they find out about this. Never ever get involved in family business. You don't know when you should apply the principle of "family comes first" because business always gets in the way.

Family. This year I am an aunty of 11 beautiful nieces (3 newly born nieces) and 10 nephews (1 newly born nephew). We don't really practice favoritism when it comes to the second generation of the family. But I truly fell in love with my beautiful niece who was born on 9th September 2009 (09.09.09). I have no idea why it felt like she's mine. It's like i can feel my womb when i touch her (scary huh?). My love for her has grown from just being an aunty into being a mother. She cried a lot at night but when I was there to put her to sleep, she hugs me like she recognize me as her mother, and only tears can measure up how much i felt for her that night. When she was having flu and having problems breathing, I stayed up all night making sure she does not suffocate. Even a slight move will wake me up in the middle of the night. When she has trouble sleeping, I will put her on my chest, rest my back on a pillow and cover both of us in a comforter to sleep. We both slept peacefully that night and she woke up only on the rising sun. Leaving her was a painful moment and everyday i had to text my sister to send me a photo of her through MMS. In my handphone, you will only see most pictures of hers. She's coming this friday, and that means happiness for me.

Thesis. Sigh. My prof is taking too long. She knows it is ready for submission but she told me she feels it is her responsibility to improve my writing according to her level. How much can I do other than giving her my best? Yet, she asked me to add another 3 months for writing. I was like, "I've finished! Done! What else can I write?" I told her, "That's it prof, I have spoken to my family and they insisted that I finish everything this semester. I am coming to 28 next year. I have to start earning." She finally understands and agreed with me. yes. at last.

Me and boyfriend :( time will tell. Looks like for now, it has to be career first.