God knows..

Only God knows how tough it has been for us
Only God knows how we suffered inside
Only God knows how patient we've been during those trials
Only God knows how much tears we have shared
Only God knows......

And now, after endless prayers and sacrifice, everything starts to pay off..

All that happened now, reminds me of yesterday's tears..

This gave me a sense of discernment that dad loves me, still, and a lot. How sinful I have become, I still feel blessed because his fatherly love will never die in my lifetime. I believe he still takes care of things for me, from above. Whatever things that I have silently written for him on a piece of paper and burnt them with hopes that he would read it, it is no strange that it's been fulfilled.  If I could have one wish, I wish for my dad to be here with me. But reality hurts, he's not coming back.

I have to admit - my ego and my pride - they saved me from suffering more. It has been a roller coaster ride for me. To hear the incoherent voices, the aimless talks, the medley of irrelevant advices, I have to say it is an effort to ignore all these kryptonites that can emotionally and mentally kill me. I always have to keep my head up, that no matter how many stops or u-turns I have to make, I know, something good will come.

It is here. I hope it will stay. How many times can someone be tested? Not many, I hope. But God has been kind to us. He gave us each other, and it makes this world not so bad after all.

All that we received now, it is with hardship. It is with a lot of prayers and it is with a great faith.

God knows........