Give it to me baby!!! ah ha!! ah ha!!

It was announced that NSF should be in by now, but I know UKM will always be the last to get everything done.. but while I was crossing my finger, I went online to check my account and only to know that my balance is still the same.

Well, hopefully nothing will come against my blessing. I really need the money to settle lotsa things. Well, I know I’m not really alone in this, few more students are also waiting… so guys, keep your finger crossed ya… I knw it will come soon, but let’s hope it’ll come sooner… haha…

Anyways, I've taken my mom's 'harta pusaka' from my cousin (Thank God, they are in good condition or else my sister will kill me) and my white Channel bag which was given by my sister (But the white sparkling color has gone and it loooked so dirty and ugly, and the edge of the zip was already torn, i ges my cousin wacked it so well and didn't bother to see the damage she's done to the bag. SIGH!)

But I met Jim. Yes, Tharmain was right, i really miss him and it was nice seeing him healthy and all smiley. Well he gotta keep on going though nothing comes easy in this world. speaking of this, hmmm... i better put this post to a dot. till then ppl..

"I-AM-NOT-EVEN-CLOSE-TO-BEAUTIFUL"

Hmm, sounds like someone I know…. (MEEEEEE!!!)

Hah! Some people can even proclaim themselves beautiful, I feel like ‘wow, at least they have the confidence/guts to even say it, though it can be a ‘rolling-eyes” for everyone sometimes.”

Me -on the other hand- do have inferiorities that sometimes I wish I am reborn again to become the perfect ME.

"Lie, you have things other people don’t have..” Hmm okay, like what things (?!!)

Sometimes we try to figure out, what are the special things we have that makes people say “Hey, you’re special!” … yea, special enough to pay for your coffee… haha (chuckled)

I wish I have the confidence to do or say anything, urghhh… I guess that’s the main thing I am lacking for now.. I can’t really dance (not that I can’t really move my bon-bon, it’s just that I don’t have to the confidence to “hey I know what the next step is, you can follow me”), I can’t sing alone in front of people. I can’t lead prayers, I can’t perform my so-so talent in guitar, I can’t really speak up for everyone unless I was provoked, and I let people ‘bully’ me sometimes. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME NOW?

Yea, I need some magic portion to boost my confidence. Anyone with the perfect remedy, call me at “Nahhh, you know my number..”

(This post is meant to be a joke, but yeah, everything I wrote about me is nothing but the truth)

The Saturday Trauma

It was about 1.45pm in the afternoon on easter week, and the sun was shining so brightly that I should say it was a beautiful day for everyone.

It happened when me and my hsemate was walking on this alley which is next to my block. I was on the phone when I wasn’t supposed to and my friend was walking just few feets ahead of me. I was unaware of the surroundings and was happily speaking when something hit my neck and the next thing I know, a guy on a motorbike was trying to snatch my phone. I remember we were struggling for a moment before he finally let go of my phone. The best thing was, he gave me this cynical smile until he's nowhere to be seen when I was really in shock.

Of course the attack was my very first time.

I was shaken for awhile unable to express any word.

I was okay few hours after that, but then it left me a big scar and I was in fear for few days.

Few friends called me and asked what happened and Tharmaindra's mom called me right after she found out about it, which is very sweet indeed. I am fine now, thanks to those who showed me their concern. I really appreciate that.

I refused to tell my family because of two reasons.
1. My parents will be worried sick. I know my mom, she can cry for few days in a row and my dad is not well, this news will affect his health and that is the last thing I am gonna do.
2. Oh, probably the rest of the family won’t feel bothered, which is something I don’t want to know. It’s hurting to know that they don’t even give a damn about me and my safety. For once, when my sister found out my youngest brother (who is already 19 or 20 yrs old) was renting a room where all the immigrants are staying, she was in tears though she knew that I was in the position once, and not even a tear came out from her eyes for me.

Well, I am A BIG girl and INDEPENDENT,

yea right!!!

Hey, it’s the story of my life…