meaningful craps

For all that I care, all that I want in my life…is for everybody’s happiness… for the mistake ive done throughout my life, had been the dirts on my shirt, for people to see and for people to judge for how I lived my life…

It has been hard all along for me… to put a smile on my face when im hurting inside, to act like im ready for it when im too scared to wrestle with it…. to be content so other people might see the rigidity to my essence of living…. But then again, when nobody is looking, I fell to the deepest hollow of my life and experience nothingness but the soreness of my pain…

The thing that ive said here may be nothing but only the agony and anguish no one can ever understand.. im not commiserate with myself, im just here, sharing my life with others so others might think that life is not all about being happy or being sad, but life is about learning from the worst thing uve lived through in your life and taking it as one of your challenge to fight for something that’s important and worthwhile… for that is how I see things in life…even though I will eventually fall again, and again, and again… but somehow, you will start appreciating those around you, the hardships that created you and made you what you are today..

You can call this craps but crap is what u live with. The ironic in life, dun you think you’re wasting your time? NO… time is always running and it will never stop so do us all, we keep on aging and by the time you realize it, you are already 40s, or maybe 80s…and when you look back, you start thinking. Did you make the right choice? Did you make mistake and actually fix it? Or did you actually use your father’s money to buy you life? Have you been a good example to other people? Did you forgive those who hurt you? Stop there, what are these all about anyway? Arghh, like I said it is all craps… but then again….crap is what u live with and live for…. So I guess whatever crap you may think this is, there is a point… everything you see now may be a secret route to your future… so live your life to the fullest, cry when you think you should and fight when you think it is worthwhile… dun just sit there and wait for others to feed you, you are no hamster…  so go make something in your life, create your tale for your future kids  am I crapping again? Lol…