say hi to my new life

hey people...
it has been a while since my last post.....and i dun really have any direction of writing so im just gona go with the flow...

ive been here for almost 3 weeks now since my arrival from KL... and what i can really interprete of what's going on here is that.... life is gettin tougher and tougher each day... it's no more like looking at the moon with ur loved ones or stroll along the beach, hand in hand with ur loved ones...tho' u may feel that if ure really in it... it's just a figure of speech dear, so let's go on with the stories in my head...

when i was in KL, i learned to be independant, to do things alone.. to cry and let no one bothers you at night with the walls wrapping around you. i know it was tough back then, i mean you are alone and it's nothing wrong with that. sometimes i like to be alone but its just that, i never been like in that moment before. so alone and feel so small in the room, tho' the room is less than 10 feet square. well, fifa is just next door but i duno, i dun feel like disturbing others. im trained that way, not to disturb or invite yourself to ppl's house. :) so there i was. all alone and sometimes have to skip dinner. i thought i was going thinner but i wasnt *chuckle*, the percentage of my body fat maintain.

but when i came back, it was normal for few days...u know like you trying to catch up everything you have left and it seemed like fun...but when days went by, everything started to change gradually and reveal it's true colors. it's like i brought some nasty curse to this place, and it makes me suffer. well, its just a figure of speech, again.

I miss my friends. it's just that, for now, i cant go out and socialize like i used to be anymore. i have to think about my future. what am i gonna do next? just sit around at home doing nothing and wait for the money to come to you? no, only a toad do that. im not a toad, so i went on few alternatives. first, went and meet dr jualang regarding to his offer for me to continue my study on drug discovery under him, collaborating with IMR. Secondly, i went to promenade the other day and applied for job. well, now still waiting for their answer. if they reject me, there's always another alternatives. hmmm, i have to think far now. my friends cant believe what im doing right now. well, it's other ppl's life anyway. this is my life. all the hardships i have to go through alone, so im all by myself now. but dun worry dear reader, im not saying that im suffocating to death now. it's just that things had been hard for me these days. and i need to be strong and willing to sacrfice. and at this moment, i remember all my friends. all the favor they did to me. it's feels like my tears are falling when i remember them all, the good times we had. i never forget that....

i really hope that luck is on my side now. im praying so hard right now so God give me His blessings upon me. im gonna be strong. im gonna be a new person and im gonna sacrifice all the things that i have now to achieve something in life. i will not moan or whine or whimp, instead i will work harder for a better life in future. im gona do this my friend. say bye to all the memories in my head, all the usual stuff i do in my life, and now say hi to my new life. dun worry dear friends. im still gonna be me, the only difference is, im gonna be stronger and more independant.

dear all, i love you all always. never will i forget all the good things and good memories we had together. so the only thing im gonna say to you all is that "go far for your dreams and live life to the fullest"

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