The new lodging and the unforeseens

These few days had been quite busy for me. I just shifted to a new place in Hentian Kajang. Tharmaindra came and helped me out since he got a bigger car. The new place isn’t that bad. I am staying with all sarawakian girls and currently sharing room with Grace, the most happening girl I ever met in UKM. The other girl is Philo, a very down-to-earth Mirian and Angela, my senior in KML.

All of us just moved in so the house is not fully complete with basic necessities tho’ we already have a fridge and a stove. Grace and Philo is going back to their respective hometown end of the week so the shopping for kitchen utensils will have to wait until everybody is back. Now, im staying overnight at my old place, Jemeng managed to persuade me to come and stay with her for tonight since jenny just went back to Sabah. But im not alone here, Grace, Maria and Aina tag along. They are all sleeping in the living room now, while im still here writing my blog.

I don’t feel good about the things happened for the past few days. Firstly was about my old housemate. I dunno what happened that she has totally changed; I mean she is like that according to Jemeng, a very serious person. I didn’t see it coming, if only I knew, I would have kept my distance. I didn’t mean she is totally a bad person but she likes to keep things to herself which made me unable to talk to her at times. Hence, for more than 2 weeks, it seemed like we both are strangers to each other and only spoke a word when the time is critical like what happened last week. That was when we queried her about the rent. Until now, I don’t really understand how she counted and charged me for my part. We made a mistake by not approaching her face to face. But I cant do anything when I am only a newcomer and I know I have no right to bug in, so I kept quiet. But my roommate was too scared to talk to her, especially when she is not in a good mood almost all the time. So my roommate had no choice but to give her a letter before she herself fly back to Sabah. Yan’s letter was blunt, sharp and straight-forward. So it made her cry, I was the victim of the day to see her swollen eyes. I felt bad for a moment there… but it was not entirely my fault. She came and talked to me, I didn’t say much because I don’t want to make things worse for her. I thought things will get better after that, but it was still the same the day after and she is still in her world of her own. That’s why I chose to ignore, that’s the best thing to do. It all started right after she asked me about Harry Potter. She wanted me to bring her for Harry Potter since I got a car to use but I have watched it. The moment I told her that, her expression changed, her face was like telling me that I did something really awful to her. Since then, there was an awkward silence between us.
Somehow I wish that I don’t have Erda’s car to use, I wish she had never given me the car before she go back to Sabah. But it is Erda’s car that I have more friends now. Well, it’s clear to see that everything we have has its own advantage and disadvantage.

I went to to church for daily mass yesterday and the priest said something about forgiveness. The feeling of guilt suddenly rushed over me and jenny’s face appeared in my head. I have to say I have my part that is wrong even though I am not the cause of it. If I have been so diplomatic and kind, things wont happened the way it had. There are times when my egoism takes over me and I become such a bad- ass to people. This is why I have to always pray and seek for forgiveness to keep me aware of my wrongdoings. I am not a kind person, everything that I have felt, or given, is not enough to label me as a nice and kind person.

My new lodging- my housemates are great but I can see there is an uneasiness between them. I have to be careful of that. I talked to Grace and told her that no matter what happen in the house, one of us has to be the peacemaker. Grace – despite being so blunt at times, she is a very nice person, open minded and the thing that I like about her is that, she is honest, direct-speaking and totally not a hypocrite. I feel comfortable with her.

I guess the post is already long enough to bore the readers so im heading to a full-stop now. My back start to ache and it means I really need my beauty sleep. So goodnight everyone. We’ll meet again – astalavista for now….