"Critical", yet "indecisive"

I wish life could be easier than this. I know I have been sighing over my life like a thousand times. But I can’t help thinking of all the things that likely to happen in future. It’s in my nature to make sure that everything goes perfect with all the things in my life since I am having this shaky life along the road and I always found myself in a crossroad, and worse still, I am not fit to decide and act wisely.

I know I am not really that unfortunate to have the kind of family I have now, I do love my family though they can be so unreliable sometimes. I am now considered financially secured, but what will happen if I stop receiving allowance from my GRA scheme? That means my life will be as doom as the overcooked meat, I can’t turn to anyone for money which I never will because of this egoism that exist in me ever since I was born.

I am really aiming for jobs so that I will be financially secured and stable. I can’t depend on my sister or any of my siblings for money; I rather work it on my own no matter how tough it will be. I really hope I can make up my mind sometime soon about this confusion in my head. Life is getting more stressful now, and there’s no time to sit around and see what is going to happen next. The chapter of life is reaching its’ climax and it scares me to the max. I just have to act fast and smart. God help me!