Fatherly love
It was tough making them understand. But I am glad, in the end they agreed though they said I should have called SPA. Part of me was consumed by guilt for not being responsible but the other part of me is jumping for joy for not having to go through it again. I just need to take a breather. At least for now.
I will try again when I am ready, or maybe when their bad news isn’t so bad for me already, or when (maybe) I am earning somewhere and SPA is just like a passing wave that rocks my boat on the sea.
I had a good weekend except for a time when we left his house for a short outing to Starbucks on Sunday and we had to wave at a sad-looking dad at the front door. The face looks so creepy like I have stolen his son.
“Don’t think too much about it. It’ll pass.” His comforting voice never failed to calm me. His parents loved him as though he’s the only son. He has done great things for his family and he has been a responsible man. Yet that is never an excuse for his father not to remind his son about the importance of disciplines and decorum in every conversations they had.
T suffered a lot after two accidents last year (and one of it was a major case). Thank gawd, he didn’t suffer physically but financially. Though it was never a drunk-driving case, his father always claimed that it was T’s lack of responsibilities on things. First accident happened when he decided to finish his work in the office till midnight. I can’t tell you how workaholic this guy is. The second happened at the borderline of Sabah-Sarawak when his car skidded in the rain and went turtle after hitting a lamp post. That happened two days after my dad’s funeral. He was coming to visit my family to say his condolences in person.
Despite all the problems he is having, yet today, he bought his father a Perodua Viva. I was not surprised that a down-to-earth and a knowledgeable man who is a retired MAS captain pilot chose to drive a Viva. He said it is conducive enough for him and his wife. It reminds me of my dad who gave away his old Land Rover to buy a van for his extra income (apart from his 8am-5pm job), just so he gets to feed his 14 kids. Because of my dad, his perseverance as a father, his kindness as a man, I am what I am now and I believe he is now in Heaven tapping his foot on the ground and listening to his favourite song as his 100th day of earthly departure is fading away in the midnight of 21st February. Dad is not coming home anymore to play with mom. Mom won’t be able to hear him during her daily rosary anymore and Mom will soon find all her things which were hidden by him.
and I hope we’ll make a better future when our time has come.
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